Well, I'm back. I had a good cry. The very FIRST one since H moved out. Much needed I think.
I called out to God to soothe me.
I called out to God to guide me on what to do.
I called out to God to help H.
Finally the tears stopped.
And here I am.
I think that H is his own worst enemy. He craves so very much affirmation and attention, but the one person that has stood by him for 30 years, he doesn't turn to. When that affection and affirmation comes from me, (and Grace, I might add), he can't, or won't, receive it.
He's a product of his own worst fears. He's creating an environment to see if I will believe he's a bad person and therefore affirm his own belief, that he's worthy of---------
Abandonment.
By yet another person in his life.
But God doesn't want me to abandon him.
I might not have control over the outcome of my marriage, but,
