Walk away or re-assure

[Rita]

You got two great pieces of advice from the Zen masters --

Gordie's

Assume nothing

Process facts as they present themselves

And DnJ's idea of no initiating

because it allows you to respond if you want to respond to his initiating but it gives you the peace of going dark the rest of the time.

I read your H's confusion as confusion, not as evil. It feels like evil, believe me, I know all about that feeling! But obviously he is not going to spend the rest of his life with that wicked little college co-ed playing house. Block it out and enjoy your life as much as you can, but there is nothing wrong with you for wanting to hold out hope. It's painful but it's beautiful too.

Something I read on these board that has helped me more than anything was the idea that standing really just means outlasting MLC. It's long and painful but you don't really have to do anything, other than outlast it, if you choose to. Sometimes I even repeat that to myself, I am just outlasting it. If you are able to enjoy your life to the fullest, you aren't closing yourself off from anything, just keeping the possibility of outlasting it open in the back of your mind/heart.