Thank you Deja, DnJ, Gordie and OneArt.

My mind is in turmoil right now. All of your posts are meaningful and true. There is so much to think about.

Why do I want to stand?
DO I want to stand?
He stated he's no good for me or anyone. Why do I think he STILL might be good for me?

I know it's easier for him to justify his actions when he feels there is someone else to blame. But it still hurts, even though I know they are lies.

He is so very damaged. I am actually quite healthy, in mind, body and soul. He's right. I do have quite a good life without him.

I want a good like WITH him .....Still.

The nurturing nurse in me needs to go away.

I can't fix him. Never could. Never will.


I'm too wired to sleep. Maybe I'll clean the house.

I realized that I've only had 1 or 2 sleepless nights since "I kicked H out" 6 months ago. I'd say that's not too bad.

I will re-read and mull things over tomorrow.

Thanks.

M: 56
H: 57
S: 22
D: 20

H Moved out: 10/1/18