For me GAL is easy. Go workout, go for a walk/run, visit family, friends, tinker in the garage, stay busy. Have kids? Go GAL with them, take them to the park, zoo, family, whatever. Plan your weekly GAL schedule.
I think the harder thing to achieve is true detachment.
I like the suggestion related to kids. Nothing more powerful for the WAS than seeing their LBS being a great parent.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Great thread, Steve. I couldn't agree more in regards to GAL.
Try to get out of your comfort zone.
-Maybe go volunteer at a soup kitchen.
-Visit seniors at an assisted living facility. If you play an instrument. Bring it with you and play it for them.
-Look into other volunteer opportunities in your community.
-If you have kids. Find a pond that has ducks that you can feed.
-Visit a museum, or an amusement park.
-If you like animals, look into volunteering at your local SPCA.
-If you are a member of a church, there is usually plenty of volunteering opportunities.
-Pick up a new hobby. For me, it was golf and what a great outlet it turned out to be.
Nothing to it, but to do it.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
I went a little nuts at first on GAL and spent a large amount of $$$ lol. But I have toned it back and i am still enjoying GAL. GAL is the number one reason I am where I am at mentally. Even with all of the BS I am still feeling good about myself and my future. I am going to be more than just fine. I havent had any major emotions in a couple of months now. I dropped the rope. I dont care about my WW anymore or what she does. All I care about are my kids and myself.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
Steve, during my time on the board, GAL is the common denominator that would appear in the successful DB stories.
Perhaps it has already been mentioned, but for those who may not have much cash for GAL, I suggest volunteering to help others who may stand in need of physical assistance. My heart goes out to the elderly, sick, and disabled who are shut-ins. Sometimes, they need their grass cut, snow shoveled off the front steps, medicine picked up, a friendly face who will actually give ten minutes to just talk to them. Sometimes, all it costs is a little of our time.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I have mentioned it a few places before but for all the men on here, get on meetup and find a good mens group. If there are more then one try them all and find a group of guys that fits with you. In my case I ended up finding a group with many men in the same spot as me, we have helped each other a great deal and it has really saved me. It is much the same as this board, if there is something that a member is struggling with or a decision that needs to be made in life we bring it to the group and bounce ideas off one another. Several of us are now great friends and that has spun off into more GAL activities like random dinners, fishing etc.
Steve, during my time on the board, GAL is the common denominator that would appear in the successful DB stories.
Perhaps it has already been mentioned, but for those who may not have much cash for GAL, I suggest volunteering to help others who may stand in need of physical assistance. My heart goes out to the elderly, sick, and disabled who are shut-ins. Sometimes, they need their grass cut, snow shoveled off the front steps, medicine picked up, a friendly face who will actually give ten minutes to just talk to them. Sometimes, all it costs is a little of our time.
OUTSTANDING suggestion. And pretty much free I might add.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Steve, during my time on the board, GAL is the common denominator that would appear in the successful DB stories.
Perhaps it has already been mentioned, but for those who may not have much cash for GAL, I suggest volunteering to help others who may stand in need of physical assistance. My heart goes out to the elderly, sick, and disabled who are shut-ins. Sometimes, they need their grass cut, snow shoveled off the front steps, medicine picked up, a friendly face who will actually give ten minutes to just talk to them. Sometimes, all it costs is a little of our time.
That’s a great idea Sandi. I never thought about volunteering when it comes to GAL. I will look for some opportunities in my local community. I have volunteered with the elderly in the past and it was such a rewarding experience. They have the best stories and I could listen to them talk for hours.
Also even though it was suggested for the fellas, I think joining some meetup groups is a good idea as well!
Original BD: 10/26/2017 PA: 10/2017 - 11/2017 Second BD: 09/15/2018 Currently: IHS M: 42 H: 45 S: 22 lives on his own D: 18 away at college S: 15 still lives at home - the only child we share together
