My heart goes out to you, Juju. It is a hard place to be, not knowing for sure which way to go. I think it is easier to see things once you have been down that road of divorce and are removed from it and can look at how things broke down objectively. But, along with that, I think that it can create an almost gun-shy attitude for people in that they are afraid to put themselves out there or ask for what they really want or whatever.
My only real advice is to really think about both sides of the coin: staying together vs. breaking up. When I face a dilemma that seems daunting or difficult, I make a pro/con list and then I just compare both and then try to make a decision that seems to best benefit me. You are a strong person and you will be fine either way, but don't stay in something that isn't working for you just to avoid a break-up. By the same token, don't rush to break up when something may be fixed by just having an actual conversation.
As far as the thing about him saying he'd cook dinner, but never following through, lots of people have addressed that already and some have even said, when he says he wants to cook dinner some time, pin him down to specifics "oh that sounds great, how about this weekend?" I have had more than one man say to me that sometimes they don't pick up on subtle hints. I agree, a lot of men (notice I did not say all) men are NOT good at subtle. So, be direct. Hopefully he'll respond with a similar directness.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
