I am a complete outsider, but I have always had the impression that the woman is OW. I also agree that men do not take this route without OW. It would certainly explain a lot of the mysteries over the years. DV, what would that change for you if you could verify OW or multiple OW? I am asking because for me, I did not want any family time with my H when I knew there was OW in the picture. Had we just had a separation with mutual respect, perhaps I would have felt differently. I am not sure. I allowed family time in the beginning, but I realized it was only in hopes of him coming back. Then he would leave our family and go to OW. It made me feel sick. I realized I was allowing the ultimate cake eating and cut that off. Then over time, I started to allow more detachment.
Neffer, I will be honest, I respect what you are doing a lot. But if you were my H, and you still had such strong feelings for X-OW, I would not be able to be with you. It has been hard enough as it is! I am surpised your W can handle that, or does she not know? Sorry to hijack! he hardest part for me in my sitch, is the betrayal of the OW, and even with him being over her, it is still hard!
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
