I am sorry you are going through a rough patch right now. Unfortunately, if your husband is in MLC you have a long, long road ahead of you.
I think after he acted the weekend you left and Valentines Day you started to build expectations that he was coming out of it.
Some people stand for their marriage for years waiting for the WS to turn around. Some can't bare the pain anymore and move on.
Take the time he is away and dig down deep and decide what best for Living.
Take care.
Thanks LH19, I truly appreciate it.
After my weekend away, V-day, and his behavior I didn’t set up expectations that he was coming out of it. In some strange way, it kind of proved to me he’s still going through MLC. I’m learning the hard way that it will take him time to come out of this.
In some ways I believe he feels bad for the destruction he’s causing but he is “choosing” destruction and the roller coaster ride rather than trying to work through this crisis in a healthy way.
I’ve been reading a lot of posts by Hearts Blessings on her site about MLC. It all makes so much sense with what’s going on in my sitch. I’m doing a lot of ready and that’s helping me have some form of empathy for him.
I admire those that choose to stand for their M. I would never judge them for making that choice. However, I’m not sure I can do it. So for now, I’m going to focus on really dropping the rope. I’ve said it many times but it’s the only choice I feel I have.
While he’s away, I’ll take time to just enjoy the peace of him being away. I’m going to spend a lot of time home completing some small projects I need to complete. Because when he gets back, I’ll have to go back to putting as much space as I can between the two of us. So while he’s away, I’ll enjoy our entire house in peace!
Original BD: 10/26/2017 PA: 10/2017 - 11/2017 Second BD: 09/15/2018 Currently: IHS M: 42 H: 45 S: 22 lives on his own D: 18 away at college S: 15 still lives at home - the only child we share together
