Still in limbo

[Living]

Here is a good question for the spouse that is wanting to leave I thought of this morning. Are they running towards something or someone or are they running away from something or someone? The sooner you can assess this accurately the sooner you know how final the inevitable outcome will be.

At this point, and I could be wrong, but I think my H reasons for wanting to run away (he hasn’t gone anywhere yet) is to run away from something.

I think he has also romanticized what his life will be like when he’s single. I think he’s imagining what it will be like when he meets “the woman for him”! He’s not currently involved in an affair (to my knowledge and no signs point to that). I think he looks forward to life after our M ends. I think he believes he will feel better once it’s over.

I would say that my W is running away, as well.

And I would also agree that I think she has somewhat romanticized what the single life will be. She claims she will be a better parent without me (unlikely, but okay then). I also have no firm proof of an affair.

And Bo562 who are we to tell them they are wrong. They already have themselves convinced so nothing we say matters.

I see 2 outcomes for my H if and when we divorce. I don’t think I’m being irrational or in denial by saying this. I’m basing these outcomes off a lot of the info I’ve read (and continue to read) about MLC. I’m also basing this info off the man that I married (the man he was before he was abducted by the MLC aliens).

Outcome 1: my H never does the real work on himself, we divorce, and he jumps from one relationship to the next. He will think that a new relationship will solve his problems. He will think the grass is greener on the other side. He will meet women and totally ignore warning signs they aren’t good for him. Because he hasn’t don’t the work on himself, he will still react with emotions instead of logic. He will be blinded by lust and the newness of a new relationship. He will get bored as soon as that lust wears off and move on to the next. He will never realize that the problem is him and that he needs to work to resolve his issues. He will never feel “happy” and “fulfilled” in these new relationships. Then one day he will realize what he let go (me the one who loved him unconditionally) He will then try to come back to me in full force pursuit. He will be relentless and not at all concerned about how this makes him look. He will think that we can just pick right back up where we left off. He will call, text, send gifts, and show up to my home. And I will have moved on. This will send him back into a deep depression.

Outcome 2: my H will jump from one relationship to the next. He will continue to work with his therapist regarding his issues. Over time he will become a better person and grow from this experience. He will regret the pain that he put me through and the choices that he made. He may even come to share that with me. However, he will be perfectly content with his life and revolving door of relationships.