MLC? Confused what to do

[SteveLW]

hanging out with a party animal that concerns her husband

rewriting the history of us through "I don't know if I was ever happy" or I married you because I didn't think I would find anyone better

more critical of me and impatience with me and the kids

less interested in emotional or sexual intimacy with me but still improving her looks and talking about other ways to look better

"it's time to put her first"

she keeps saying she is confused and doesn't know what she wants. The "I love you but I am not in love with you"

She is secretive on the phone.

Wow Anthony. First, Sorry you are here. However you have come to the right place. This place is a great place to get advice and support. Just realize that we are blunt, and we will call things like we see them. So buckle here goes.

What the heck are you thinking?!?!? Bad choices after bad choices. BJ from her BF? A threesome? Drinking to the point of getting black-out drunk?! And then making excuses for all of this behavior.

I'll be honest with you Anthony, I am way more concerned about your 3 kids than I am about your MR. Sorry to be blunt, but let's take score here:

- You and your wife are drunk all the time.
- You parade other drunks in and out of of the house.
- You have a BJ in the house with your 3 kids sleeping from your W's BF.
- You have a threesome with your kids in the house.
- You mention drugs many times, I assume some of this is done with the kids in the house.
- Loud arguments about the above with the kids in the house, admitting that they have heard the arguments.

All of that sickens me to my core. Who is watching out for these kids? You are ruining their childhood. You are setting them up for lives of depression, and drug and alcohol abuse. The are seeing both parents being promiscuous. Which means they will parent children of their own before they are ready.

Then you post this list:

hanging out with a party animal that concerns her husband

rewriting the history of us through "I don't know if I was ever happy" or I married you because I didn't think I would find anyone better

more critical of me and impatience with me and the kids

less interested in emotional or sexual intimacy with me but still improving her looks and talking about other ways to look better

"it's time to put her first"

she keeps saying she is confused and doesn't know what she wants. The "I love you but I am not in love with you"

She is secretive on the phone.

Do you want me to list the behaviors you are exhibiting, and that list would just be FROM YOUR OWN WORDS!!! Sexting with her BF. BJ from her BF. Drinking to the point of passing out. Threesome. Mentioning threesomes. Oh, and worst of all, being a HORRIBLE father.

Anthony you have a lot of cleaning up to do. You have NO ROOM to talk about your W's behavior. You are not innocent here, not even close. So don't play the victim.

Now the MR advice.

This stuck out to me:

I accused her of liking him and started snooping in her phone, phone bill, etc. Nothing really was found but for some reason I was determined in my mind that she was. This continued with other friends that went over there too.

And it only got worse from there as far as your lack of self-esteem and confidence. Let me ask you, how many women do you think would find the above quote attractive? Whiny, snooping, accusatory? If you did that in your first month of dating your W would have run the other way faster than Usane Bolt.

You need to keep going to IC. YOu need to continue NOT drinking. You need to be a father to your 3 kids above all else. You need to stop all of the enabling behaviors (yes, doing the same things she is doing is ENABLING). You need to put those 3 precious kids first and stop making excuses for your own terrible choices.

Your W will either join you in that journey or she won't. But you need to straighten up, save yourself, and hopefully save those kids in the process.

I will keep you and your kids in my prayers. But stop the bad behaviors and start doing the RIGHT things.