My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance PART 6

[ovrrnbw]

Hello everyone, just a little update. I like updating my thread b/c it is written record of things, it helps me to remember and helps me to learn. Thanks MWD .

Anyways, things slowed down a little last week. W went to her friends apt last Tuesday night. I don't know if she went back for OM or not, truly. But she is at home every night since. This is obviously different than before when she was never home, but she's not two feet back in the marriage either. I can't control that, so no sweat here. Wed morning she called a bunch, I didn't feel like answering b/c she wasn't at home Tues night. Finally I do, she has a flat tire and wants me to come change it. Funny how she didn't want to act like a wife Tues night, but Wed morning it made a lot more sense...Of course me changing the tire didn't come without some BS about how her and her dad thought I may not come do it. The two of them should be together, good lord. I won't even get started about how we have insurance that covers this kind of thing.

Wed night, she wants to make plans for St. Valentine's Day. OK, we went to sushi. Friday I didn't go to the office with the snow we were supposed to get. Went to town to get some groceries and what not, W was throwing a fit b/c she wanted to go out to lunch. Money is tight for her right now, so she wanted me to pay too. Although money is only tight for her b/c she's spending a lot and has access to $0 of mine. W was being a major B Friday afternoon, I didn't want to engage and told her and showed her. Finally I looked her in the eye and said you are being a "stinking B". That's the PG version anyways. W changes her tune after a minute, says sorry, asks for patience and reminds me how she was always patient with me. I told W how it's different b/c even when I was hurting her, I was always committed to her. W didn't like this so much, oh well.

Wednesday I met with my priest, and we discussed the possibility of me filing for divorce and/or separation. That felt good to talk about further.

The rest of the evening and weekend went fairly well. We watched movies and went bowling, I made chicken stock and chicken and dumplins. I love fires and comfort food when there's snow on the ground. I'll be honest, I'm a little afraid to leave W behind on a weekend night and go GAL.

I'm in this weird spot where my W's affair seems over but she's not ready to recommit to the MR. Of course, I didn't make her work very hard to get me back. That's my fault. But I can say that I am getting tired of her crap, this situation, and feeling better about the prospects of being without her long term. I am so much stronger, smarter, wiser than I was a year ago. I think about the 1 year mark, it's coming up soon. I think about Steve's old signature and timeline. I think about what I want for myself, and if I can ever really trust this woman.

Thanks for reading everyone, and thank you for commenting as well, it means a lot.