Sorry M as you know I went through this about a year ago. I still have not met my Xw bf and when it first happened mine went down about the exact same way. I told her I had no desire to meet him partially because at that time I was not emotionally ready and second because I told her that I trusted her that she would not just bring anyone into their lives. That if she felt he was a good person, etc. then he was good with me. Crappy that she told you via text and not in person.
Just remember that you will be eventuality doing the same and you will want her to show you the same level of respect.
