Thank you all for responding and I am eyes wide open right now. Not on her but on me and what I truly want.
I was waiting to see how she would be this AM and today the day after she went through her rollercoaster of emotions yesterday and Sat which is normal but by the end of the day opened up even more than she had ever with full disclosure.
She said she was happier today that she feels like she was able to let so much go and didn't want to lie anymore.
I can't express how much all this input helps from you guys. It is so enlightening to understand what is going on from your perspectives because it is so hard to understand in the heat of the moment.
She has already offered her transparency and I am not ready to take her up on it just yet as AS said give it time and see how she is reacting a few weeks, months down the road.
She works from home and is here 99% of the time. Since her recovery from surgery in mid Jan she had been feeding me the "I need to keep my independence" and was out one night a weekend with "friends". We discussed that last night and she came clean that that was not where she was. I knew but let it go until this week. She said she would not be doing that anymore....but we will see.
It is definitely a scary point right now because I am not upset if we split. I was upset because of her lies to my face. I was upset because I knew how this would affect my kids if I decided to move out. Before, she knew I knew and did it anyway which turned into going covert but showing me more love and affection at home than she ever had. I am sure that was just a ploy to keep me more engaged.
She is very troubled now I see. Her issues of sexual abuse as a kid and neglect from her family all her life has left a huge burden on anyone that she ends up with.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
