10yrs ago when I look at you, I can see you smiling so brightly. You appear to the world as if you don’t have a worry in your soul. No matter what the situation is, you’re always smiling. In addition to that smile, I know deep down there were times you felt sad, alone and lost. You are finally an adult, with 3 amazing kids and now separated/divorce and sometimes you feel alone, you aren’t sure which direction to take. Are you doing the right thing? Your life is not what you thought it should be.
This is perfectly understandable and normal to feel this way. Trust me. If I could, I would give you the biggest hug right now, as the world at this moment is on your shoulders because I know you need it. For years, you have always been the people-pleaser. No matter what happens in your life, you’ve always made sure to put other people needs before your own. You are very selfless, You always try so hard to do everything you can, and by doing this it always puts added pressure onto yourself. No one in this world is perfect and you don’t have to try so hard. It’s okay if you make mistakes or have flaws. Imperfections are meant to be unique. It’s what makes you, YOU. Learn to embrace yourself and love who you are as a person.
Yes, you will come across people that may not necessarily like you, and as a people-pleaser it may be hard to you. Just know that as life goes on, so do you. Never give up and always keep pushing forward. We both know at times you. YES YOU can be a bit of a procrastinator and at times we pretend that we are stronger than what we truly are, but just know it’s okay to show your true self. Don’t be afraid of how others perceive you as. I know that you are feeling insecure right now and worried that you won’t be accepted or what others think of you. I promise that the masks you’re wearing can easily be taken off. Allow your true self to shine and you’ll be appreciated by those that are meant to be in your life.
And don’t give up on love. I know things right now seem bleak and currently you are still trying to figure out What's Happening. As the years go on, you’ll meet a few good women's and friends, but there will be one that you will fall in love with and your kids will adore and be Happy. Yes. Can you believe it? You will actually fall in love, but I must warn you this When it happens, you will feel many negative emotions. You may even wonder if maybe you were just meant to be alone a loner. You rarely cry, but there will be certain moments at night when you’ll feel overwhelmed with sadness. All of that built up emotion that you’ve held for so long will come out and you will cry yourself to sleep. You don’t have to pretend to be so tough all the time. Bottling in your emotions isn’t good. It’s okay to cry every once in a while. Despite feeling this way, your heart will mend. Heartaches is apart of life. Although it may hurt, it is an experience that you can learn from. It will show you, ‘Hey, I lived through that! And I’m okay now.’ You will continue to heal in this journey from the pain and sadness, just learn to live with an open heart. You love so strongly and loyally, and it’s beautiful that you give that gift to the ones you care about, but it’s time to show yourself some of that LOVE.
Focus on yourself. Don’t allow yourself to become distract by small things or anyone. What matters the most is how you feel, what you are passionate about and how much joy you allow yourself to feel. Live each moment to it’s fullest, not as if it were a memory. How you live your daily life is what matters the most. Everything else will eventually fade away. Yesterday was the past. The future is the future, but this very moment…it’s the present. And that’s what you must grow to learn. Don’t worry so much about what will happen in the future. And don’t ponder so much about the past. We all have regrets in life, things that we wished we could go back and change. Unfortunately, we can’t change the past and the past gave you 3 beautiful kids you always wanted and dream of when you where a little girl, we can’t alter the future. So live for the moment, "M"
You have spend a few years ignoring yourself and feeling upset with where your life is, or even how lonely your love life is. I just want you to feel love, rather than tearing it apart. That love you have for others, simply turn it around on yourself. Look into that mirror and see how beautiful you truly are from the inside and out.
You don’t need to worry about carrying around guilt or shame. STOP IT, All that pain will eventually go away. Learn to be less guarded with people. You may not realize it, but you tend to be very guarded with who you decide to let it. You place a wall between yourself and others. There will be times when it’s hard for you to trust people. It’s okay. In this very moment, right here, I want to tell you that it’s okay to be free of that feeling. I just want you to be happy and proud of the person you are growing and becoming. You have 3 kids that are watching you and look up to you.
Say yes to life and don’t be afraid of what’s coming around the corner. We all experience ups and downs in life. And there will be many times you may feel like you just want to give up or a failure, but you’re still here. You have people in your life that are willing to be there for you. Don’t ever think you are alone in this world. All you have to do is open up and speak up. Don’t be afraid. You won’t be judged.
Embrace each moment, even if it’s not something you were hoping to happen. We are still growing and learning in life. Your life is special, and I can’t wait for you to experience it. We’ll continue pushing forward together. One step at a time… Remember One day at a time One hour at a time One minute at a time One second at a time Time is all we have.
At BD Lesbian marriage Me39,W36 S9,D9,S8 adopted all three Together almost 10yrs Bomb Drop - April 2017 W movedout - May,2017 OW June,2017 Currently 2018 Me40, W38 S10,D10,S9
