I will let revenge and becoming my version of AMOAFWL propel my motivation and drive for a little. I know that using revenge and wanting to show up others over the long run becomes corrosive as you're not doing it for yourself, but someone else. But, it's a good firestarter spark to let your shuttle pass the gravitational forces and then you see the beauty of the universe and realize why you're doing what you're doing.
In the last few weeks, I have just felt so tired of living a mediocre life. Everything has slowed me down in the past and crushed me to the ground, but I can't live like that anymore. I've made steady progress, but I have found the hunger in the last little while as I have peeled off layers of my weaknesses and confronted them.
F#$k if I let my exW and her $hitty actions define who I am and my self-worth. I'm so past that, but this stupid thing this morning is a good reminder that what she's doing holds no power over me.
I have never loved myself more. I have never been so aware of my worth in my whole life - as a parent, friend, professional, and person as a whole.
I have literally felt this physical hunger in my stomach 24/7 for the past many weeks making me realize that 'being hungry / stay hungry' has a real physiological basis. The drive that I have is unparalleled and I have been non-stop in my actions to achieve my goals.
I do feel dope and I know the level of control I have to make the life that I want. I am doing it.
