It just feels like they are studying how to win at a game. Not how to get to know someone as a unique individual. And I’m assuming that if they are doing it, there must be other guys doing that as well.
With my bf, I remember him telling me how if you frequent a restaurant often, it’s a good idea to leave the waitress a really large tip in the beginning so she remembers you. She will always go out of her way to provide good service even if your future tips are not as large. He actually said this to me! There’s that old saying to watch how a guy treats a waitress right?
So I am wondering if he consciously did that to me. Our first Valentine’s Day he bought me fine jewelry. After that, I felt this need to reciprocate with nicer more expensive gifts too. Then his gifts went to normal. Dates became less frequent. If its a financial reason, Like if this year he didn’t do as well I don’t mind. But I don’t know if that’s the case. But to me, it feels like he was trying to maybe sell me something that wasn’t there in the beginning ? Which is the deception don has brought up. Im not comfortable bringing up the same present as his ex situation. It was a metal that I don’t wear. And he had told me that info a year ago in a different conversation(I have a memory like an elephant)
Texts became less frequent. Instead he tells me, that because I have the busy schedule and young child he doesn’t want to bother me and let’s me pursue. He tells me I can come over any time I want he’s always around. He has offered me a key. Which is all good things and signs for a girl that wants a commitment. But it makes me feel like he is lazy. I am not that personality that’s gonna go in and takeover and maybe he’s ok with that? He says things like, he wants to cook dinner for me and my son this weekend but then never actually invites us, so I’m not sure if I’m supposed to initiate that? To me that feels rude.
Anyway, there is a big part of me that is considering ending it. There’s some other things too. I like to go places and be active, especially with a little kid and he’s more of a home body. There are times I don’t really want to invite him somewhere with me cause if it’s someplace neither of us know he will comment and I feel the need to voice back or else “ be someone’s b” . For example, I was looking at a rack of coats for my son and he comments “why are you even looking at those. They are not gonna fit” but in a rude way. So then I get snappy and start explaining that they put the small coats in the front and the larger ones in the back. Me and my ex never had issues like this, cause he wasn’t looking and criticizing the little things I did. I know this sounds petty. But we have been together less then 1.5 years and we don’t see each other all that much, so this type of arguing should be more for when your together 10 years no?
I’m anxious about ending things at this point. when we hang out it’s ok. But I am also a very easy personality to hang out with. (I know you might not get that from how I write on here) But I am not always sure that I am seeing things fairly. Am I nitpicking things? I don’t really know how to end things cause I have been up and down. But I am not happy
