I'd like to comment a bit on the courting thing. First, Juju, I am humbled as you gave me the highest compliment. setting me up with a family member truly humbles me. Thank you! As to why I seem open to love. I think because I am still desiring my first real love. My first real R. Yes, I was married. Not for long and it was pretty much never good. It was me trying to get my husband to love me and treat me like family. Never happened. SO I guess I want the real thing. It sure has taken me a long time and found something pretty wonderful I look forward to keep nurturing. Or perhaps I am simply a fool to let myself feel deeply. I let myself feel love, but I am afraid to feel so much pain anymore, I probably have ignored lots of stuff I shouldn't have. This time around I have been very cautious and aware with my feelings.
On the "I've won them so I can stop" theory. I think this is why I don't find too much value in someone wining me and dining me so heavily in the beginning. Getting used to something that cannot be maintained is setting me up for a big let down. I don't even think I have had an R long enough for the dating to die out, lol. When I do something nice for and with M, I don't do it to win them, I enjoy it. I would hope a guy who dates me actually enjoys the dating part, doing stuff for me, and doesn't just do it to "win" me. I enjoy doing that stuff for my partner, but it has burnt out because I give so much, that getting nothing in return wears you down. M was never over the top. We have always had a good balance of dates, who's treating and doing stuff for eachother. He's never tried to "win" me, I think he just tried ot get to know me and enjoy spending time with me. Which has been nice.
I also think everyone can communicate more our needs. I certainly stink at that, but I am learning to do so.
Oh, and by the way, my ex used to blow holidays out of the park. Every other day of the tear, he treated me like crap
