A familiar story with questions NINE

[RR17]

Thanks, everyone. I took the day to get away. I balanced it with reflection as well as space and diversion.
The revelation that she "Can't try" was taken by me to mean "I won't try for you" Yea, I know that's my own translation, but I don't think it is unrealistic either. Hurtful stuff. Most every 180 that I am aware of I have made along with consistency and time. Yes, I agree that I am in the Friend Zone.

Do I know if she is committed 100%? Obviously not. W's current state is that she isn't 100% committed to anything except her daughters. I always knew that she had a pattern of quitting instead of trying. She left jobs because things weren't right. She's never been one to take her own risks and try. People that can't shoulder the pain of failing, never try.
When we all know that you don't fail until you stop trying.

Most, men never get out of the friend zone, once placed there. The one's that do, have one of two things happen, either they happen to have a lucky night of sex with the friend, and the guy thinks that will change the mind of the women, which it rarely does, or they, tell their lady friend how they truly feel and detach themselves. This distance gives the lady friend a chance to realize just how special this man is.

This I fully agree with. I have waited for the former and have tried to wait out this realization. I believe that stronger actions are necessary now.

Yea it's tough, I guess you have to just sit tight for now. I know you want change and you want it now but we rarely get it on our terms. Are you 100% sure your W is fully committed to you? Have you read 5 LL's? Are you working diligently to fill her love bucket?

Is your W ok with not having sex ever? Has she expressed interest in getting things going eventually?

During our morning convo W said "She didn't see ever going back".
Yes, as far as I can tell Ws LL is quality time. I have intentionally filled this bucket. Years ago we both did the LL thing and W was unable to answer what her LL was.

For right now, I believe that I do have to allow her to truly know the feeling of uncertainty of RR not being there the next day.