not a good weekend for me, i messed up a bit (lot).
Saturday managed to ok, avoiding his conversations about finances, went out , looked very good, had fun, arrive late Sunday all good until 4 pm, went for lunch with some friends had a few more glass of wine that i should. Got criticized by a friend, that i should just try to negotiate with him and do not involve lawyers that will only drain our finances and i should not be greedy). Arrived home crying and looking like a mess. ask him to look after our daughter and went to the bedroom. He nook on the door and went done hill from there.
I criticized him form being a crap daddy, for not putting his daughter 1st, for choosing to live so far away, asking him where he want me to live with his daughter, etc.
He took advantage of the fact that i was a bit emotional and try to talk about the financial settlement, i give him the impression that i would not accept his proposal and i was ready to go all the way if necessary (court). But give him some information that i should not have, stuff that he did not have taught about it and could be a disadvantage for him.
We spoke for 3 hours and to be honest i am not sure about what. Not to much about our relationship, was basically about our daughter and my need to provide a roof over her head, for him to stop being a d@@.
During the weekend he keep saying how poor he is, and that needs to put the house in the market as soon as possible, etc.
So today, i have a bit of a headache and i am embarrassed about my behavior and the fact that a walk 1km back instead of 1 step forward.
So after he left i send him this text, kind of an apologize without saying sorry.
"did no expect this to happen and i did not dealt with this situation the best way. will not happen again. i will keep it very professional between us. we are not friends and i will keep that in mind. we just need new arrangements for F., because what ever we are doing is not working for me."
So today i will go for a long walk and lick my wounds.
