I had it in my head yesterday that I would confront him
It will do no good to confront him about the affair. He is a serial cheater. Based on what you've said, I suspect his sexual appetite for more women than just his W, has led him into a realm that will require much more than a confrontation. The W cannot change him. She can't love him enough for him to change. He doesn't value the MR enough to change. The W cannot satisfy him enough by participating in sex with others. The more he requires to satisfy his sexual appetite, the less likely he will settle for what we think of as a "normal" or healthy sexual relationship with only his W.
I very rarely ever tell someone right off the bat that they need to get out of their M, however, I feel you should let him go. You can build a better life for yourself. There actually are men out there who will love one woman and be faithful to her. You don't have to put up with this mess. ((hugs))
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How long do I hang out in limbo, and would it be considered using him for his money if I lie in wait for my savings to build but keep the peace the way things are? How forward should I be in addressing this right now?
Are you employed or totally dependent upon his financial support?
By keeping the peace, do you mean to act as "pals"? How do you think he would respond if he knew you wanted a D?
Are you having sex with him?
Do you have family and friends for emotional support?
You've been with him since you were a kid. His influence over you is obvious, ..........however, I see a grown woman who wants to lead her own life. At the moment, you are afraid and it's difficult for you to stand up to him. You are stronger than you think. You don't have to "settle" for a H who has a track record of unfaithfulness. It breaks my heart to think you might consider staying in this situation b/c you might get use to it.......and making change is a little scary. But then when I remember you've been with him since you were sixteen, it kind of makes sense that this is all you've known.
Keep posting. ((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
