Re: Moving past the WAW to a stronger me Pt. 6

[Davide]

Thanks for the reply Ovr!

It looks like if I file a "quit claim deed" form it will remove her from the deed. She would still be on the mortgage but have no rights to the house. Basically, she would be the only one exposed. If I want to take her off the mortgage that would require refinancing and be very expensive.

I don't think she is saying things to make herself feel better. I think she is genuinely living in a fantasy world where she doesn't need to accept responsibility and consequences for her actions. She's certainly not saying these things to make me feel better, as it would be easier for me if she were cold and rewriting history like so many W on here. I do think she is ruled by her emotions to a large extent. She was unhappy in the MR so she did something to make her happy, regardless of the commitment she had made. It reminds of me a bit of what they say about suicide (apologies, if this is offensive or insensitive) - It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It feels like that is what she did.

That said, it might be that our visions of MR were fundamentally incompatible. The question of starting a family was there from the beginning but she was so young and not sure of her feelings at the time (she was 24). Quite frankly, I wasn't 100% sure either. Later on in the MR it became clear that she didn't want a family, and I thought I was okay and reconciled myself with that. I thought I would prefer to be with her without kids, than the alternative. Maybe that was a compromise that went too far, but it was something I was willing to do to honor my commitment and as an act of love towards her. Frankly at my age I think it is more likely that I get together with someone who already has kids rather than starting a family of my own. Most of the women in my dating range either don't have kids because they don't want them, or have them and don't want more. It looks like it will be something I have to reconcile myself to, even without her.