Honestly, how is it that I have this innate ability to pretend everything is fine when he's being nice to me? Like what's happening literally isn't happening...
...this isn't healthy...do other people have relationships like this?
I know that this is a huge contributing factor to why things have been this way forever...I honestly thought things were normal for so long but I realize I have not acknowledged the very NOT FINE things between us and it's because I literally have no problem acting like things are fine until I'm triggered. Then it's like I'm a raging bull. My husband seems to do the same thing and it's only now that we're separated that I have lightbulb moments like, "hey, actually none of this is okay..." but why don't those moments kick in when I'm with him?? What does all this mean?
