what are your ages and how long have you been married?
H is 30, I'm 28, and we've been married for 5 years but together for 12
Originally Posted by RanchRKS
My H had confessed to possible sex addiction during the revelation of the A and I blew him off at the time as it felt like a cop out for lots of bad behavior over lots of years.
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
Given what has transpired since then do you feel this is a more serious problem than you originally suspected?
Yes, definitely. It seems that his father has the same problem. He's afraid of becoming like his father and H has a history of not only confiding in women and having an A, but also considerable background on websites involving live chat with performers and a daily porn habit that has become almost ritual. He once thought the porn was a problem but doesn't now and thinks it is the least of his problems.
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
Would you say he's controlling and manipulative?
Yes, but he has also said that I exhibit controlling behaviors too, so now I'm not sure which came first, the chicken or the egg. I never considered myself THAT controlling, but these days I'm not sure what's true when I look thru the lens of his perspective
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
Work on you. Leave him alone and hopefully he'll start working on some of his issues.
I am struggling with what to do when the detaching starts working...although, I'll say that he has a tendency, if I'm not wildly impressed by his trips to the counselor, his cute pictures with our daughter, or I'm not quick to answer his messages/calls...he gets really bent out of shape and this makes me uncomfortable so maybe it's more of a guilt trip than an actual turnaround. I find myself in the middle of it before I know how to respond properly so this is becoming a huge problem and creating an emotional swinging pendulum I'd love to get a handle on!
