Falling behind on my posts—would like to catch up tonight, unless sleep hits me.
Potential GAL (maybe?): Our school’s wellness committee has a running club that meets 3 times weekly (Tues., Thurs., Fri.). Something for me to look into.
Background: I ran track 4 years in high school—but wasn’t anything really special. I do love running (the runner’s high is definitely real, at least for me), but running hasn’t exactly loved me back. My concern is injury / hurting myself—I’ve strained my calf running before, I have asthma (which is controlled, but still a thing), and I don’t want to aggravate a sore back that has been really quiet of late. Riding the stationary bike at school or at the condo’s exercise room is okay enough, but the thing about the running club is SOCIAL—just being with others, and adding some structure / accountability.
Valentine’s Day was good enough—focused on self and the boys, which is how it should be at this point.
I’ll probably get killed for this, but I’m just feeling the pangs of loneliness for attention / affection / physical touch. I know that ship has sailed with W (at least for the time being, perhaps permanently, to be determined), and I’m nowhere near close to being ready for someone else anyway. It just hurts right now, you know? The word ‘pangs’ I feel is fitting—a cry from within, that is not exactly permanent, but it’s been arising every now and then (at least it’s not chronic, which I guess is good).
I’ll take the 2x4s I probably deserve, but it’s just where I’m at, and I’d rather journal it out here than try to bring it to W or someone else. Hopefully a good night / weekend of sleep will help (it usually does—it usually improves my mental state).
