Another century day mark passed. I look back to who I was and who I am now and even I am in awe at how much I have grown. I never thought when I first signed up here that I would be the man I am now. I thought that by day 200 I would have my WW back and I would be a better H. And that's not the case at all. It still feels surreal. I am conscious of the changes I have made and ask myself "Can I make these changes permanent?" I know I need to. I have no other choice. I cannot go back to being my old self. I know I am capable of much more. I am finally understanding and accepting what people around me have been telling me for years. That I am an amazing, awesome, man and that I can and will get the best life has to offer me.
I have talked to my MC and we essentially wrote what is likely the final chapter of WW and I's first R. Starting next session, MC and I are going to continue to write the chapter of Phoenix9. A man who will continue to build on what he has worked on the last 200 days. A man only a fool would leave.
My pain from WW has decreased significantly. When I think about the things WW did to me, I wince in pain and then I move forward. I then tell myself "I put in my hard work. I did not cheat my way to another R. I started from the bottom and worked my a$$ off to be who I am now. I love me." I still wonder what awaits WW as she progressed her R with OM2. That being said, she and him deserve whatever is coming to them.
R2C, does it count if I get a date before the 30 days are up? Because (as of now) I have a date for tomorrow. It's time. I am going to start my journey again. This time, I am not seeking an R. I don't need an R to be whole. I want an R to share the love I have for myself, my family, and my life.
