Dating after Divorce

[Dawn70]

The things I learn here. Punch Buggy - had to look it up. LMAO. Red pill Reddit - had no clue until juju brought it up.

I know, right? I did know what punch buggy was and laughed out loud at the thought of a grown woman playing it, but was clueless on red pill reddit. So, so educational in so many ways.

Main reason i dont date women with kids is not because I have a kid, its because I dont want to be a father figure to someone elses kid. Obviously there are some exceptions like in widows and such, but why should I raise a child when their father just chooses to not be around. I havent decided if I want more kids yet or not, but not all women want to have children. Most of these questions are things that only time will tell, because there is no sure answer to them yet. I plan on getting a vasectomy, so she wouldnt be able to get pregnant without my consent.

My Ex is actually a really good mother. I have no complaints in that area. So my daughter is not looking for a mother figure. I am also not looking to find her one. During dating I havent introduced my daughter to any woman and I wouldnt plan on it. Now if it turned into a LTR then I would consider it then and make an appropriate decision. But I havent run into a woman yet who says she hates kids. I also know that having a child automatically crosses me off of some ladies lists too.

Interesting. I have never heard it quite explained that way. I am glad you added that these are questions that only time will tell because I think there is always the possibility that you might actually meet someone you like who does have kids. I'm also curious about something and I'm not trying to be argumentative or question your thoughts and opinions because those are yours, but what if the situation were reversed? What if you met a woman who you really liked, but who felt the same way you do about raising someone else's child/ren?

I understand your reasoning and am not questioning it, but if you happened to meet someone you hit it off with who had kids, would that be a deal breaker for you?

I can't speak for all women but for me, I never necessarily shied away from dating men with kids but I also didn't necessarily seek them out. I wanted to be a mom when I was younger, but I never got the opportunity for a variety of reasons. When my XH came along, I knew on the front end he had daughters and before we even got super serious, we had a LOT of discussions about kids. I was willing to be a part of his life and theirs. I didn't want to raise them in place of their mother, but I did want to be in their life in a step-parent role and despite a lot of negative press about step-parent/child relationships, for me, it has been extremely rewarding. I realize that everyone is different and that is not everyone's feeling. I also realize that because I have never actually given birth to a child, I likely view parenting/motherhood a little differently.

By the way, since this is the first time I have commented, I will say, I like that you started this. I think it is nice to have a place where we can learn from each other without anyone taking offense. I don't take anything I read personally, even if I don't agree with it at all. So, thanks!