IF you are tired of it and want to move on, then do the latter. If you are still morally opposed to the idea of D then do the former.
The point with the first one is simple, most of the time the WAS will not follow through. The point of the second one is that once the LBS gets tired of limbo and fed up they will go ahead and pull the trigger on D.
It isn't so much conflicting advice as advice for where you are. The general rule is to give your sitch a good year before throwing in the towel. But that requires fortitude, patience, and self-control.
I'd be happy with her cooling off and thinking this really over for 6 months. But 1 month into this and her gun ho on mediation makes me think I should allow her to go at this herself to find out how (not) easy it is to D with kids. She is making it seem like this is so easy and no L's needed and it can be done in a day and we can go our own ways and kids are resilient and will just move right on with no impact as well....
A big wake-up call for my W was when I called a lawyer for a free consult, and then told her about a few weeks later. Most WAS want to take the path of least resistance. If you offer some resistance it take the "gungho" out of them.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
