Sounds like you have made some good progress for yourself the past little while. Great job! Stay strong and keep your head up!
This is a very hard thing to do. I have only been at this for 3 months. You have been at it 16 months. Others have been at it for many years. It truly is a marathon, we will all help each other get to the finish line.
No two circumstances are the same, but they all have similar components. I went back and read your sitch; I am a 20+ year military guy still on active duty so I certainly have an idea how difficult life has been for you and your family! Everyone says retirement is the good life, and perhaps it is, but it can certainly trigger a sense of loss in those who have known nothing else for 20+ years. It is something I have become much more conscious of lately, as I approach retirement from the service. It is in no way an excuse for his behavior, just as my W doesn't have any excuses for her behavior. Thanks for your service, the spouse at home serves just as much as the active duty member...Keep on keep in' on friend!
LB
LB55, thank you for your encouragement. I just have to learn to take this thing one day at a time. I’m so sorry you’re here. I’m sorry we are all here but I’m thankful for this forum. If nothing else, it helps to know that we aren’t the only ones going through this. When I first came to this forum, I was shocked at how many people were going through this mess with their spouses. It may be wrong with me to say (so I hope no one takes offense) but I was in utter disbelief of how many women were WAW or WW. It’s nuts to me.
Thank you so much for your insight on being in the military. I know that for my H he loved it. It was his only plan he had for his life. And when he retired he was still so young with a lot of life to live. He felt like that was his purpose and then it was over. Working in the civilian world after 20+ years in the military has taken a toll on him. It’s just not the same for him. And I sympathize with him. He just needs to find a new purpose and reason. I think if he does that, no matter if we make it or not, he will feel better about life.
After reading about MLC, I now know there were a lot of things that created the perfect storm for a MLC to hit my H. It hit him and it’s hit him hard. It’s truly like he’s been abducted by aliens.
I don’t know what the future holds for us. All I do know is that I hope someday he finds his purpose and that inner peace called happiness. I want the best for him and if that’s not me...he needs to go find what is.
And thank you for your service! The sacrifice you all make for our country should never go unnoticed!
Original BD: 10/26/2017 PA: 10/2017 - 11/2017 Second BD: 09/15/2018 Currently: IHS M: 42 H: 45 S: 22 lives on his own D: 18 away at college S: 15 still lives at home - the only child we share together
