More reconnection or whatever this is. Sending gifts to the house. He's never been a gift-giver. Also apparently struggled with his pronouns again. While telling S that he had ordered something for him and it would arrive by mail, he struggled and finally came up with, it is being shipped directly to "the house." In the past, this would have been "the [city where we live] house", "your mother's house" or some other variant that injected as much distance as possible.
Gordie, I think the walls are mine. I may have walled him out long before he emotionally distanced from me. Ultimately I don't think it would have changed anything in our situation, but it is something I am thinking a lot about. I'm a little haunted by it really. But the positive to be found here is that if they are my walls, then I can take them down whenever I want or don't need them anymore.
