Dating after Divorce

[rexgm]

1) Some are still looking for the "love of their life", to settle down with that one person for the rest of their life.

2) Some don't want that kind of serious lifelong commitment but would like to have a steady dating partner.

3) Some don't want any commitment at all and just want to have fun with various dates with no obligation.

NOW - how you approach dating should depend on what your goals are. Someone who is a number 3 has NO BUSINESS dating a number 1 and should be responsible and stay away. If you're a number 3, try to find other number 3's to date. You'll both be happier. If you're a number 1, don't waste your time dating number 3's.

I completely agree with your assessment and I put myself as 1 and 3 with half of 2. lol

I am open to a serious relationship, but only after i meet the right one for me, and until then I am going to enjoy the journey of looking for that right person.
I also look to date younger than my age, just because they are more open too all sorts of relationships, and I am also attracted to their freespirit and their lack of jadedness towards men.

As for the chasing business - I know, as a woman, it can scare me off if somebody comes on too strong right out of the gate. It makes you feel like they aren't falling for YOU but for their IDEA of you, their fantasy. And if you don't feel like you really know them well enough yet to make that assessment yourself, it's off-putting.

I agree with this too because too strong to me comes off also as needy. If you are needy you are just looking to fill a void and in the long run you are fooling yourself.

FF I dated had our whole 6pm gym class of younger single women with no kids wanting to date him. (he was 9 years my junior) Turned out he was interested in me, the 9 year older divorced mom. Even though I was shocked he was interested in me, I did say yes when he asked me out. But the appeal of all these women wanting his had no say in that. It was actually miserable, I got a lot of shade from these women.

I am pretty simple. I am attracted to a funny guy who is personable and sweet. There aren't certain "games" that attract me. SOmeone trying to have too much game, well, that sure turns me off.

Why were you shocked that he was interested in you? Could it have been because in his mind he could of asked any other woman out in that class but instead he chose to ask you out? Also knowing that he could of asked out other women, did it not also make you feel good about yourself? That he chose you over them.

I don't know that you can say that definitively because how are you supposed to know how many options somebody has?

One way to know subconsciously is how confident they are. Usually a person that has options and knows they have options are very confident because it doesnt matter to them what your answer is. They know they can find a date if they want one. That type of confidence is hard to fake.

I did initiate on OLD with the guy i am currenty with. I joked about something in his profile. I dont consider that chasing. I initiated with him because his profile was long and showed effort and indicated that he was looking for something serious but in a funny way.

That is the definition of chasing. You initiated the contact. So you did do the initial chasing. which goes back to my statement that women start the chasing process.

If i found out he was dating other women I would not sleep with him. I would not choose to sleep with soneone if i was dating other people. The sex wouldnt be good for me in that case. Im not saying i want to get married, just that i would not want to sleep with someone that was gonna sleep with someone else the following week.

If a guy kept asking me out, but was honest that he was going out with other women too, there would be no reason for me to keep dating him. I would figure, "hey he wants to see if theres someone better that he can get". He would not be worth my time. And i am not saying that to be snarky. It just would not be in my best interest.


Rex. I have to say i enjoy and appreciate your honesty and i also like to be honest without having to worry about political correctness. Hope this helps

Well in all fairness I would never tell a woman i am seeing other women, unless she specifically asks. And if she did ask specifically I would then answer with are you asking me to be exclusive with you.. My answer would then depend on hers.

Rex. I have to say i enjoy and appreciate your honesty and i also like to be honest without having to worry about political correctness. Hope this helps

It helps alot, and I do appreciate it, and i am sure other people will appreciate the candor of this thread and all of its participants.

Rex