I would be surprised if she was seeing other men. Its almost like an unspoken rule in a situation like that. Personally, i find it hard to get to know someone if im dating a lot of people at once. I was never able to do that. I usually date 1 person and see if we are compatible. If not break things off.
This is mind reading and will only get you into trouble, unless you have specifically discussed being exclusive, i wouldnt expect it.
Originally Posted by JujuB
Personally, i find it hard to get to know someone if im dating a lot of people at once. I was never able to do that. I usually date 1 person and see if we are compatible. If not break things off.
while this may be true for you, it may not be for her. She may have no issue dating multiple men at once.
quote=JujuB] If she backed off a bit and was more elusive, i bet you would regain your stronger interest and stop worrying about committment phobia. This is pretty universal though. Its why nicer and more normal drama free girls tend to not get appreciated. They decide to one day bake cookies for you and you dont feel challenged.
Kind of why Archie neglects the hot blond for the spoiled Veronica. It doesnt make sense.
[/quote]
It makes perfect sense. people like what they cant have. Once they can have it their interest level drops. Which is why many dating books say if she starts to lose interest then hold back your interest/attention and she will get interested again. It is a constant ebb and flow. It is also why the nicer and more normal drama free men get under appreciated also. Which is also against a normal mans thought, if it becomes worse one thinks they have to try harder. which only pushes her away more. It is also one of the reasons that DB says to go no contact. you reward good behaviour with your attention and punish bad behaviour with removal of your attention. women do this all the time by withholding sex or attention. If you piss them off they make it known that they are mad and they are not talking to you. You did something wrong in their opinion and they are now punishing you.
It is also why the easiest way to raise a womans interest level is to get noticed by other women. Its an inherent instinct to go after the strongest male for reproduction purposes. like it or not, that is nature.
M:43 W:33 M:10 T:11 D:6 BD 8/12/17 Divorce Final 1/23/2019
I would be surprised if she was seeing other men. Its almost like an unspoken rule in a situation like that.
This is mind reading and will only get you into trouble, unless you have specifically discussed being exclusive, i wouldnt expect it.
Originally Posted by JujuB
Personally, i find it hard to get to know someone if im dating a lot of people at once. I was never able to do that. I usually date 1 person and see if we are compatible. If not break things off.
while this may be true for you, it may not be for her. She may have no issue dating multiple men at once.
Originally Posted by JujuB
If she backed off a bit and was more elusive, i bet you would regain your stronger interest and stop worrying about committment phobia. This is pretty universal though. Its why nicer and more normal drama free girls tend to not get appreciated. They decide to one day bake cookies for you and you dont feel challenged.
Kind of why Archie neglects the hot blond for the spoiled Veronica. It doesnt make sense.
It makes perfect sense. people like what they cant have. Once they can have it their interest level drops. Which is why many dating books say if she starts to lose interest then hold back your interest/attention and she will get interested again. It is a constant ebb and flow. It is also why the nicer and more normal drama free men get under appreciated also. Which is also against a normal mans thought, if it becomes worse one thinks they have to try harder. which only pushes her away more. It is also one of the reasons that DB says to go no contact. you reward good behaviour with your attention and punish bad behaviour with removal of your attention. women do this all the time by withholding sex or attention. If you piss them off they make it known that they are mad and they are not talking to you. You did something wrong in their opinion and they are now punishing you.
It is also why the easiest way to raise a womans interest level is to get noticed by other women. Its an inherent instinct to go after the strongest male for reproduction purposes. like it or not, that is nature.
M:43 W:33 M:10 T:11 D:6 BD 8/12/17 Divorce Final 1/23/2019
Yes but she was interested in him when he pursued. If he distances, she will follow and then he will have to redo. Thats my analysis of her. Thats how I would be, and Im basing how she would be based on me because i am also old fashioned. I wont chase and im attracted to a guy that does nice things for me. If he stops i lose attraction. Shes es warm with him because he has been pursuing her in a normal easy going fashion. I wasnt able to predict wild girl cause she was so opposite of me.
Rex, i wish you had a thread. A smarter, high quality female at our age is gonna run from a guy that is a ladies man. I know that would not attract me. I would want a guy that seems loyal. If you are looking for wild girls, i would agree.
J, I agree, get out of your own head. WHy are you analyzing this so much? YOu like her, she likes you, you are building, what are you worried about? Enjoy yourself.
I seriously don't know what person with young children to care for and full time jobs have time to date multiple people. I sacrifice a lot to date one. Dating multiple at once? Seems nearly impossible. Unless there is nothing in between and you are just simply going on dates when you happen to have a free night. But why when you are building something with someone would you want to give your free night to some other random girl?
Oh, and Zues, I am short on time, but I see you. When I said "sacrifice" I meant sacrifice earning potential. The guy might sacrifice time with their kids and family. So maybe when that husband now has 50% and that woman has 50% when she used to spend sooooo much time with her kids, the money should equal up a little too.
I know you got stuck with some exorbanant amount of child and spousal support to pay. Each state has thir difficult calculation. One parent should go poor while the other one is living really good When I said that, the one who pays shouldn't be going poor either.
Idk what I am worried about.....I am just nervous. I think it is the commitment and now that we are having sex I know her emotions are engaged. My emotional pace I think is slower than hers. I just got back from her place and the set up is perfect. Less than 3 miles away, I go over for sex, a glass of wine, and home in one hour. No offense ladies minimal snuggle time and she knows I get up early for the gym and she is respectful of my time so she wasn’t trying to get me to stay. I actually really appreciate that.
I guess I am just experiencing typical guy feelings.
Wow Joe. So glad I am a woman if that is being a typical guy. Maybe I’m not ready for this whole dating thing. That sounds kinda empty to me. Of course, it also reminds me of my lunch hour when my H and I first got together and he was living with me for the summer. Minus the wine of course.
