why do i still try to understand?

[ovrrnbw]

Hi Susy,

I've read all of your postings so far. I'm really sorry you're going through this, but it will get better. You seem to be very smart and emotionally strong. Not everything is within our control, and that can be tough. But it can also be freeing. One of my regrets in the almost year I've been in my situation now is that I didn't get out and do more. Being the LBS (left behind spouse) offers a lot of freedom. Sometimes just the quiet house and the ability to sprawl out on the bed or stay up late with the TV loud is nice.

The easiest way for me to think about detachment is this:

When you react emotionally to another person, you are giving them power over you. Just sit back and think, don't let them pull your strings. Handle things with logic even when feelings are squeezing you tight.

I hope you check out those links in Cadet's post, they're more helpful than I realize when I first got here.