If you want to call it something to look forward to, I recently bought some new dress shirts to better reflect my weight loss of the last couple of years, to improve my appearance / overall attractiveness, and boost overall confidence / PMA.
That does help, doesn't it Bo? I, too, have purchased some smaller clothes lately and fit into ones that I never thought I would wear again. It is a good feeling, for sure.
Originally Posted by Bo562
When I was dating / searching for a marriage partner, and when I married W (and even W and I would talk about it earlier in our MR), I would talk about how I didn’t want to end up like my parents (or even my uncle) and get divorced. I so desperately wanted to avoid that—but now here I am.
Divorce is, fortunately, not that prevalent in my family. Me and my dad's brother...that's about it. There are a lot more on my H's side and, of course, the most influential being the divorce of his parents when he was a baby. I think that has had a big impact on him...never having lived with his father. He has a lot of anger towards his father. It also gave my H a lot of justification to do what he is doing. "I turned out okay. The kids will be fine...in fact, it may even be good for them." Yep...he actually said that to his mom. The narrative of him turning out okay is debatable. History would say he has not...at least not in his personal life. My H and I talked about it earlier in our marriage as well. I thought we were on the same page. Clearly, we should have been talking about it all along. We should have been talking more period, and nurturing our relationship. We are both guilty of not doing that and it has, unfortunately, got us to this point. I so did not want this kind of life for my kids. My daughter is dealing pretty well but my son tells me he uses his video games to disconnect from all of his stress and sadness over his parents splitting up. That breaks my heart.
Originally Posted by Bo562
W has threatened to take the kids and move out if I don’t agree to her parenting plan, or come up with something comparable.
Bo... I just don't see how she can do that. For sure get some advice from your lawyer on that before you consider giving in. It seems quite unreasonable.
Originally Posted by Neffer
Girl, you are not a lighthouse. You are a radio telescope!
Awww...thanks Neffer. I don't always feel that way but I am trying. I think this trip will do wonders for my PMA. I still wish it was my H coming with us...we so did not do this kind of thing enough in our MR. But...I am not spending too much time these days stuck in that mind set. It is a cheeseless tunnel, for sure.
I am anticipating a call from my lawyer soon. I think the SA will be ready to sigh sometime this week. Not looking forward to it the way my H is, that's for sure. It all still feels so unnecessary... we could have made it. There really were no major issues between us (before the double life started) other than complacency and poor communication. With a little effort from both of us, we could have turned things around. But the key is that it needs to be both of us and my H has made it clear I am on my own in that regard. So... I am just going to focus on accepting WHAT IS and keep moving forward... one step at a time.
