Today we had lunch with her brother in the city. I get along with my brother in law, well, like a brother. Have known him the entire time my wife and I have been together.
Out of nowhere she mentions that we are having problems and are looking to do a trial separation. He is the first person to hear of our troubles outside of us.
During the conversation I stood my ground and said that I don't think I should be the one to move out if she needs space. I wouldn't stop her from finding space, but I think that I should stay, since she's the one wanting out.
This feels so incredibly inappropriate to spring this on you like that in front of other people. Frankly, I would have shut that conversation down and said that I wasnt interested in discussing our marriage with an outsider at this time. I think it is a terrible idea to use her brother as an 'arbiter' in this matter. You dont need to try to convince him to be 'on your side'....It really doesnt matter which side he is on. If he DOES take your side, then she will just cut him out anyway. And the likelihood is he will say 'I agree with you Kwandoku, but shes my sister, so what can I do but support her?"
The content of that last line is fine. But man is it strange to be having that convo in front of someone else. Next time, I would recommend you honor your marriage but discussing those types of manners with just W first.
Originally Posted by Kwandoku
I'm hurting pretty bad about her not wearing her ring. She's at a new internship twice a week with 'like minded people' and I can't help but feel insecure right now.
I feel like Im being too blunt and not empathetic enough when I say that she views herself as a single woman right now. So I get that it hurts, but she is going to do what she wants to do right now. And how you feel or what you think matters ZERO percent to her. So instead, how can you focus on GAL? What plans do you have for this week and weekend? How can you take your focus off of her and what she may or my not be doing?
