She says she needs space to figure out what she wants in life, and whether or not she wants to work our M.
If I'm trying to detach, is it bad for me to insist that we shouldn't be allowed to see other people during the separation? On the other hand, my boundaries as a man makes me think that would the ultimate betrayal, and not something I'm willing to accept.
I'm happy to give her space, in the hopes that it will help facilitate clearing her head, but I'm afraid if she has an A whilst we're apart I wouldn't be able to forgive her and ever reconcile the M.
Kwandoku, if she agreed not to see other people during separation, do you think she would live up to it? I am of the firm belief that women don't need their own place to work on the MR, or find themselves. They need it to sleep with other people. Your current dynamic of having her parents live there makes that a little less of a truth, but still, her parents are probably going to be less questioning of her whereabouts and comings and goings as you would be.
Kwandoku, you need to really work on detachment. I am still seeing you hanging on tight. Her not wearing her rings should be like water off of a duck's back. Funny, she brings up your problems to her brother, and you are more upset about her not wearing her rings. Detachment is not so much something you do, it is something you are. Most people think detachments means being cold and distant. It doesn't. It means that you no longer react emotionally to the things she says and does. That is your goal. That she could tell you she ran naked through a train station, and you would be unfazed.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
