(((Gordie))) My H said pretty much the same things to me. It hurts, no doubt. But as everyone says...these are feelings she is having right now and feelings can, and often do, change. Sometimes they don't. It would be nice if there was a way to predict whose feelings will change and whose won't but according to the people who have been on here a long time, there isn't. We all just have to focus on ourselves and our kids and let our spouses go on the journey they need to in order to figure out who they are. We can still love them and not be with them, as painful as that prospect is. That really is the ultimate test of loving someone... being willing to let them go even when everything in us wants to hang on. I tell myself that every day and it does help. Your sitch is different though as your W is still at home. My sense is that she is still feeling a lot of pressure from you even though you are trying not to put that on her. As OneArt suggests... try not to take it personally and double down on the DBing efforts so that you will be okay no matter how this turns out in the end. We are all pulling for you Gordie. You will get through this...one way or the other. Believe it!! (((HUGS)))
