Uncertain of What I Have (Thread 6)

[Bo562]

Excellent! It sounds like you've slimmed down a lot, if off-the-shelf stuff gets to where it doesn't fit you well, check out BestCustomShirt on the web. I have a relatively small waist and bigger upper body for my size and off-the-shelf shirts look horrible on me, they balloon out at the waist like a bedouin tent. BCS is basically tailor-made shirts at about the cost of store-bought. It takes a few shirts to get the measurements really dialed in but once you do you'll be amazed at how much better you look in a well-fitted shirt. And there is a huge range of colors available.

Thanks, AS. 30 lbs. is about 1/6th of my current weight; 1/7th of old. Yikes! I can only imagine how much worse I’d feel physically / mentally if I was still carrying that weight around. Basically, 25 lbs. is the equivalent of a literal spare tire. No wonder I’d feel so bad physically and mentally!

My current shirts are large in the neck (I’ve never really taken a serious look at my neck measurements), so I went down a size when I tried on some shirts yesterday—better fit there, but also elsewhere because the shirt has to be slimmer for the reduced neck size.

I like the ‘Bedouin tent’ analogy—my current shirts are big-ish, and while I’m received compliments from female co-workers about my weight loss, and one colleague told me that my shirts look fine, but I told her that I was looking into getting newer, better-fitting ones.

Your haircut comment reminded me that my ex used to cut my hair, she did for most of our M. I had completely forgotten about that! It was curiously intimate, I think we both enjoyed it.

Yup. W used to do that for me; I found it weird she offered this weekend—she’s effectively fired me as H, and now this?

One breath she’s all ‘I don’t want to be your wife / I don’t want to be married to you / We’re not compatible at all ETC.’ BLAH BLAH BLAH and then she offers to act like W in the past.

I don't think I've ever mentioned this here but I am very into counting macros to lose weight without losing muscle mass. It most definitely works. I've helped others do it as well. I can't describe the whole process here but do Google it, there are a lot of resources available. The beauty of counting macros is there are no "forbidden foods", I've even had a beer or margarita or piece of chocolate cake while doing it. Counting makes you take in such things in moderation, but you'll find that usually that's enough to keep you from wanting to binge like you would on a diet. The key is don't lose more than 2 pounds a week or you'll start losing muscle mass, and keep your protein intake high (1 gram per pound bodyweight). I've cut down to 10% bodyfat before by just counting macros without really changing the food I ate that much. I'm around 14% now because I'm about to compete in the Crossfit Open (locally) but once it's over I'm going to cut again.

I’ve basically lost weight through mostly diet. I’ve cut down on the carbs massively—though I still have a weakness for French fries, chips, good bread, and I had donuts for breakfast this morning.

I’ve been eating protein (especially lots of chicken), veggies (always loved eating salad and veggies, even as a child), and full-fat dairy helps. Drinking plenty of water helps, plus cutting out sugary drinks. I think back to when I stayed home with OS, and I drank quite a bit of canned Coca-Cola. I think about that now, and I can’t believe I did that. I’m not above a Coke every now and then (especially out to eat, and I keep a 6-pack of Coke in my class in case I really need the caffeine or my blood sugar is really low), but I’ve cut back on it drastically. Watching portions has helped me, too.

Men place a lot of value on how women LOOK. Women place a lot of value on how men ACT. Women are attracted to a gentleman who oozes confidence. Dress nice and carry a little swagger and that will more than overcome anything lacking in the looks department (if there is anything lacking!)

Confidence is crucial, and an area in which I’ve gone back and forth on in my life. Sometimes I’ve had a lot of confidence, sometimes less so.

Hoping a newer, refined daily outfit will help me with the confidence. I’d like to strike the balance between having a bit of swagger, and flat out arrogance.

I frequently tell my students, a good number of whom are athletes, about the importance of ‘look good, feel good, play good,’ and they immediately get it.

I also tell my students that the first 2 rules of public speaking are 1.) know your audience and 2.) have confidence. These are things that I do daily as a teacher. I’ve told them that if I didn’t have at least some confidence in myself I wouldn’t have lasted as a teacher (this is my 5th year). And to a certain extent, I get the ‘fake-it-til-you-make-it.’

The only things I’d really change are my hair (thinning at top, hence why I keep it short), but I’ve come to peace with it, and add muscle / tone it up.

Heh! It's amazing how fast a WAS (whether man or woman) will throw out their "moral standards" for a little fling no matter how staunchly religious they were before. They can find a thousand ways to justify their behavior to God and everyone else.

Ripping this from Nicole’s thread so I don’t hijack her thread.

Yeah—it’s stunning the 180 she’s made on this, even though I never expected perfect congruence between her and I on faith / spirituality. She admitted to me that she’s made her peace with God about D, even though our church probably won’t be okay with it.