I think everything that happened this weekend is a step in the right direction. I want to caution you though these things don't usually turn around based on one reaction.
I am wondering that once he realizes you were not with another man and he gets a sense you are still holding on he won't revert back to his ways.
I think you need to make it clear you want to and are willing to work on the marriage but there is a short window of opportunity for you to so.
LH19 I’m sure you’re correct. While I’m positive me being away rocked him to his core, I don’t expect that will fix anything.
Since BD I showed up willing to do the work. However, I can’t do the work on my own.
I’ve received advice on here from the vets ( and perhaps even you, sorry can’t remember) to let him come to me and not only say he wants to work on the M but back that up with his actions.
I think in my H foggy mind he thinks the fact that he has stayed in our home and hasn’t moved, that should prove that he’s not ready for a D. My IC feels the same. She said if he was really sure and really wanted a D he would file for one.
It’s like I’m finally getting this DB thing. I know...I know duh!!!! Lol! But it really all makes sense.
This M can’t be saved without the work of two COMMITTED people. Two people who are willing to put in the hard work. And trust me there’s hard work to be done. I won’t do it on my own.
That said we both have individual issues we need to work on as well. If we don’t work on those, the M won’t last anyway.
So why I won’t do the work on the M on my own, I am committed to do the work on myself.
Until he comes to me truly ready to do the work, nothing has changed.
Original BD: 10/26/2017 PA: 10/2017 - 11/2017 Second BD: 09/15/2018 Currently: IHS M: 42 H: 45 S: 22 lives on his own D: 18 away at college S: 15 still lives at home - the only child we share together
