My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance PART 6

[ovrrnbw]

Ok, time to calm down a bit. I can't let her words or choices control my feelings. And what am I doing believing what she says anyways? Time to be calm and strong when she blames me for everything and takes zero responsibility. I can state my position, and if she wants to be childish, make excuses, or tell stories I can just disengage calmly. And for these last 6 weeks, almost every time we kissed or hugged I knew it could be the last. Detach moreeeeee!!!!

One morning, W wants to combine finances. That afternoon, it's divorce time!

This is not like I was being rude or cruel to her over nothing. In fact I wasn't even rude about it other than cancelling plans with her. Her favorite phrase is "why are we here?" This is how she says everything is my fault. But that didn't apply to her crossing the line on the snapchat deal. Emotions have a funny way of existing with logic, yet both are important.

After talking to her this AM on the phone, we are up to 7 calls, 8 texts, 1 voicemail, and 1 email. I haven't gotten back to her yet. She wanted me to stop b/c she knew via the GPS app I was by her work but the overall theme of her comms is she's hurting very badly, she doesn't know what to do, me ignoring her is bad, I always hurt her. In WAS terms, "I'm leaving you but I need you to be there for me while I do."

I told her on the phone this AM that if she files for D I will never talk to her again. I don't have to. But that's unfair in her mind. Well that's just how I roll, sugar.

I seriously hope she doesn't hurt herself too b/c she is getting out there a bit.