Sometimes I wonder if we're being softies by telling them we need time and space. Then I wonder if being soft is always a bad thing. I dunno.
Well I think saying that does a few things. One is that often when we go dark they think we're angry when we're really just trying to give them space. So it lets them know we're not doing it out of anger. Another is we're telling them we're not just doing it for them (IE, I'm giving YOU time and space), so it takes the pressure off of them. Anytime we can use "I" language instead of "you" language it helps to take the pressure off.
I’m not exactly at ‘going dark’ yet, but my W is not handling my taking time to think about things well.
She wants to know how I’m doing with this (told her I’ll be okay) and how I’m feeling with all this.
She is attempting to mind-read me and she tells me how angry / upset I am.
