Next. anyone else? I havent answered her yet. dont really know if i want to or not ... she fired the dog and myself. she threw us to the curb like we were trash.
im not saying i wont answer just not sure i wanna lie and say oh we had a great time at the dog park, shes doing great. the dog isnt doing great shes 15 she is blind,deaf, has joint issues, doesnt go for walks , etc etc. so that would be a lie.
Next. anyone else? I havent answered her yet. dont really know if i want to or not ... she fired the dog and myself. she threw us to the curb like we were trash.
She did not fire the dog, but yes right now she fired you, you should be happy you have that part figured out. Please do not respond to her, you know better than that.
Originally Posted by bubbs16
im not saying i wont answer just not sure i wanna lie and say oh we had a great time at the dog park, shes doing great. the dog isnt doing great shes 15 she is blind,deaf, has joint issues, doesnt go for walks , etc etc. so that would be a lie.
Give your dog all the attention she deserves right now, comfort her. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts bc your W knows full well you are debating whether to text her back, she's actually thinking to text you again right now to let you know that bc you didnt text her back right away she knows its over between you. You see how they do it, well dont let her. Just live your life right now.
You were given some great advice, use it. Be strong, no one said it would be easy. Its hard work but you will get through this and come out better than ever.
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
calling some of you other vets , sandi, steve, etc. i feel like i should answer back something . not ignore her completely. just dont know how to answer.
got a email tonight from w. we have pretty much had about nc as possible going on 4 weeks now... says she misses the dog , not me just the dog apparently . That she feels bad for abandoning the dog, again only the dog. She wanted to know why she hasn't heard from me.
I didn't respond yet.
"W, the dog is having health issues due to her advanced age but she's doing as good as can be expected. You haven't heard from me as I need some time and space just as I am sure you do. Thank you for reaching out."
got a email tonight from w. we have pretty much had about nc as possible going on 4 weeks now... says she misses the dog , not me just the dog apparently . That she feels bad for abandoning the dog, again only the dog. She wanted to know why she hasn't heard from me.
I didn't respond yet.
"W, the dog is having health issues due to her advanced age but she's doing as good as can be expected. You haven't heard from me as I need some time and space just as I am sure you do. Thank you for reaching out."
Be polite, truthful, short and to the point.
yes i was thinking something along the lines of thanking her for reaching out.
Sometimes I wonder if we're being softies by telling them we need time and space. Then I wonder if being soft is always a bad thing. I dunno.
Well I think saying that does a few things. One is that often when we go dark they think we're angry when we're really just trying to give them space. So it lets them know we're not doing it out of anger. Another is we're telling them we're not just doing it for them (IE, I'm giving YOU time and space), so it takes the pressure off of them. Anytime we can use "I" language instead of "you" language it helps to take the pressure off.
Sometimes I wonder if we're being softies by telling them we need time and space. Then I wonder if being soft is always a bad thing. I dunno.
Well I think saying that does a few things. One is that often when we go dark they think we're angry when we're really just trying to give them space. So it lets them know we're not doing it out of anger. Another is we're telling them we're not just doing it for them (IE, I'm giving YOU time and space), so it takes the pressure off of them. Anytime we can use "I" language instead of "you" language it helps to take the pressure off.
I’m not exactly at ‘going dark’ yet, but my W is not handling my taking time to think about things well.
She wants to know how I’m doing with this (told her I’ll be okay) and how I’m feeling with all this.
She is attempting to mind-read me and she tells me how angry / upset I am.
...just not sure i wanna lie and say oh we had a great time at the dog park, shes doing great. the dog isnt doing great shes 15 she is blind,deaf, has joint issues, doesnt go for walks , etc etc. so that would be a lie.
Yes do not lie. I did not know the details.
My thought process is you are out doing things. Enjoying the dog. Enjoying life. Not waiting for her. Living life.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
