W emailed me tonight telling me she is flying out of state in a couple weeks and won't be back to take son to school on Tuesday. I normally drop him off with W before school on Mondays. W asked if my mom could do the Tuesday school drop-off son since hers couldn't, saying scheduling was hard for her on Tuesdays.
I'm thinking NOT MY PROBLEM but also think I should wait to respond so I don't sound like an a-hole. Or maybe I need to stop caring about sounding like an a-hole. Sigh. It's hard not to just be angry about this. I have a lot of judgments about this trip of W's as well as assumptions that may be incorrect. I think I am in the habit of expecting the worst from her now.
Well on the one hand you don't want her just taking advantage of you, but on the other hand as Harvey said you never know when you might need the favor returned. My ex did the same thing early on asking me to drop off or pick up the kids and as long as it wasn't a big inconvenience for me I did it. As it turns out I was the one that ended up having a lot of last minute work trips and had to ask HER to help out, and she always did and still does. All these years later we're still asking each other for help with S16 now and then.
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I knew W had bought some plane tickets because she used our joint card. I need to talk to W about closing that card again because I don't want my name on it anymore, and she has started using it more often and is only making minimum payments on it now.
If you're carrying a balance on the card then you can't close it out until it's paid down to zero because the bank wants the option to go after either of you if needed. You also do not have the option of removing just one party, you have to close the account and open new ones. Credit cards are always messy business in S and D.
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I am angry that W can throw wrenches in my life like this and they affect me so much.
Yeah, no one gets married thinking they need to protect themselves from stuff like this! It's unfortunate that we have to go through the financial headaches on top of the emotional ones, I think that's part of what makes it so gut-wrenching. It's like we're getting slammed from every angle. It gets better so hang in there! Sorry you're going through this!
