Confusion is my middle name...

[Coly23]

Job, DNJ, AP. Thank you so much for your responses. I remained pretty much in a very high state of anxiety for most of today. Very tearful, hurt, angry, disappointed. Even doing housework did not help me to calm down! I just want to call him and scream down the phone but I know that won't help!

Off course, reading your wise words has gone some way to helping me see that he is still not thinking straight. Especially as when we were together he had to leave a job because he was being performance managed but did not tell me the extent of it until he as pretty much at the final formal stage which potentially meant dismissal. My advice to him was to resign before he got dismissed and he was certain that he would find a job straight away. Nine months later he had to get contract work which eventually turned into a permanent position. I thought he would have learned from this as it was not very good time at all!

Job, thank you for reminding me that his actions are not normal. I am just concerned that we still have a mortgage together and he could use this to get more loans. I promise I won't do anything rash until I come here first! This morning I had a ranting and raving text typed up and ready to go but I stopped before sending it and came here to post. I've deleted it now just so I take away the temptation to send it!

DNJ, you are right he is acting irrationally. His excuse for buying the car was because he got used to having a big Company car! He talks such cr@p!!! I think I inadvertently did a 180 when he came over. I did intend to have a moan at him but instead we all ended up having a really nice evening. I think maybe I disappointed myself because I chickened out!! Yes our finances are separate and they always have been because he is so bad with money. :0(

AP, I think I am going to get some advice but I think I will start with our employee assistance programme. See if they can give me some free advice for starters. I really don't think he will do anything underhand like forging my signature but I am worried he could start to get desperate if he doesn't find a job soon. I just think he is so arrogant about being employable but with the uncertainty surrounding Britain exiting the European Market I think companies might look to cutting non-essential recruitment and contract vacancies might be thin on the ground.

I guess as DNJ says, I can't change anything now and I can't control what he has done and Job is right that as we are separated he does not think he should tell me anything although he said he just didn't want to talk about it much. That tells me that he is unsure of his decision.

I think I'm going to have another sleepless night tonight!!