You can put H’s latest escapade in the folder marked - “You did what?!? What are you thinking?!?”. That folder does get pretty full.
I agree with you that he “now’ wants (feels) to do contract work. Of course his inability to find full time employment would lead him to grab on to the next best thing and feel that was what he wanted all along.
He quit his job, doesn’t have another one, took a loan, and bought an expensive car. And you are the one worried about not doing something stupid. Don’t worry Coly, you are seeing thing clearly, and his actions are infuriating.
He is like an adolescent growing up, btw I’ve got four of them, three sons and a daughter, and for all intesive purposes and second daughter (GF21), so five I suppose. They do all kinds of stupid stuff and don’t tell me. The MLCer is similar in that they are exploring who they are and what they want or think they missed out on. It is easier to take when it is an actual adolescent and not a grown adult.
Just breathe and let your blood cool, you are probably right that boiling over would not be pretty. He knows what he is doing is not the most wise. He also doesn’t want to tell you, he knows you, and knows you would be angry and disappointed.
This is a good opportunity to show a 180. Remain calm around him and do not criticize this little mess he has gotten himself into. I’m not sure if you and H’s finances are separate or not; it is probably a good idea to check on your status once in a while to stay ahead of any unwanted financial surprises he may cause.
You can only control you. Work through the anger, and don’t let it get a hold of you. Let him do his thing, you really can’t stop him anyhow. You can only control you.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
