Into the Fire (LB55 thread 2)

[LB55]

OK so you are 20 (or close) years experience E10, plus married plus kids plus rental properties. Good for you. Still $7,300 a month support is outrageous but I don't know how that works.

Yes we were doing very well financially, planned to be retired by about 45 years old and have about $8000 a month of income before we got out of bed. Could still happen, this is a big financial bump in the road no matter if we divorce or not.

The revenge statement is big. Eventually you won't even give a crap about her. If you throw her under the bus, then she'll realize she can hurt you and she will continue to try to do that. Take away her power, show her that you won't let her hurt you anymore. No need to throw her under the bus, everyone will see that on their own and they'll see you taking the high road. If you hear lies, you can set it straight but no need to put your business out there yet.

Yes I am angry about the situation this has put us in. I want her to feel the embarrassment and judgement I have been subjected to. I know it won't help anything and I need to let it go. I have maintained I don't want to screw her over in all of this, and I still don't. However she has no responsibility or accountability in any of this right now and that is very frustrating to me. I have been dependent upon her for my emotional well being for awhile now, it isn't a good thing I have realized.

I saw her through so many medical issues, did everything I could, all are better now, and I am hurt that in my time of need none of that is worth a thing and it's easier to just divorce and leave than to help me recover. I know it's my work to do, but it's nice to have the support of your spouse vice an enemy.

I also realized that she was dependent upon me from about 2010-2014 and guilted me anytime I did something for myself and spent time doing something I wanted to. This eventually got to be too much, and I just stopped doing things I liked, and instead just sitting around waiting to see what she wanted to do. So basically our roles reversed, and with me being by myself for a year due to the military, I relied so heavily upon her for everything that she wants out because she isn't strong enough to pull me along. I was drowning her but didn't know why. I have a better idea now.

I don't agree that divorce is how we fix this, but I respect her position.