typical WW on my hands

[LB55]

SV hope you are feeling a bit better and getting over the sickness that has kept you and your D down.

Understanding the how's and whys is something i see on almost every thread on this site. I am no expert, but I don't see a ton of definitive answers. I know I don't have any in my sitch. I too am a scientific guy that likes to figure out the why answers to better understand and prevent negative outcomes in the future. This site preaches as do many books and other sites that you must work on yourself. That is very difficult for someone that is looking for reasons this happened outside of oneself. Look inside and find those things that you can change to improve yourself. I spent a lot of time reading about things I thought were wrong with her. It did nothing to help me dig out.

I too am still very unsure about this whole process, other than the lawyers are out to take all of your money. My W would email her L to inform me via my L that she wanted to hire a plumber to unclog the sink. $200 to the plumber, $900 to the lawyer. I am currently proposing to her that we should be mature enough to negotiate and communicate stuff like this and finances without the L because it's just wasting our money and destroying our savings in a hurry. She is neither for it not against it, but is considering it. I will not push the issue, but will not do anything financially to help her until she is willing to talk and negotiate without demands on me. Educate yourself and decide what mountains you will die on and what you will give ground on.

The stuff posted by R2C is good stuff! Thanks for posting that!