Into the Fire (LB55 thread 2)

[LB55]

So a few updates.

Got approved for my new place, didn't think I would have a problem, but it's nice to have that done. Hoping to set a move in date for next week, depends upon weather right now as its pretty dicey for most in the region right now. I drove 6 hours to see family today, I am not one that is afraid of the snow.

Lots of people coming together to help me. Got a lot of donations of house stuff to get me going; pots and pans, bedding, furniture, etc. Really awesome to get help from so many unexpected places. Family and church driving s lot of it. Thankful for it all.

Also going to attend a codependency support group next Tuesday. I have been reading a book about the topic, and it's really good. I have been codependent upon W for years now as I look back. Hopeful it will help with detachment.

I emailed W to ask about weekend plans for me and kids, given the rough weather they probably didn't have baseball tryouts, but everything would likely be closed for us to go do things. I had texted her as well, but got no reply, so I tried email. Turns out she blocked me on her phone, so she never got the texts. We worked through some details of kids and visits, she is being a little flexible on schedule, so that is a good start. A ways to go still, but giving a little ground.

She wants to get the credit card payed off, and since there isn't enough joint account money left, she wants us to sell some joint investments to do it. I am not against this idea, it meets my goal of getting it closed out. However she then said she also wants to sell some extra to help our individual checking accounts meet needs during this transition because she is sure we both need it. My account is just fine. What I hear from that is 'I am feeling the financial squeeze already and want more to feel comfortable'. She wants me to take care of it before the 1st. I suspect her first payments are due for all her new furniture and her ski trip and L fees and stuff are adding up.

I said 'I am not prepared to discuss finances right now', proposed meeting in person to discuss the financials and taxes and all that stuff next week over lunch because it's way easier than email, and if we can be mature about it will save us lots over paying L to deal with it. She said she doesn't want to do it in person because we have too many intense emotions, but she will think about it for the future. Guilt is an intense emotion for her. I will just keep doing my thing.

She also wants to discuss what we should tell our friends at little league. I vote for the truth. She wants something that isn't awkward. I want to reply with:

"W filed for D 3 days before Christmas while I was in the air coming home to visit, filed a restraining order that prevented me from seeing my family, and had a stranger give it to me in a gas station parking lot at 10pm when I was expecting W to pick me up."

It's only awkward for her.

Also said she told the kids she moved all my stuff to storage to ensure I had my favorite things and make this easier on me when I get my new place. How thoughtful of her.

This is where it starts for real for me, communication and not making any missteps. Glad I have had time to start getting my thoughts in order. I haven't replied to any of her email yet. Feedback and thoughts?