Down But Not Out - Part VI

[Adam04]

I hate that my kids have to deal with this...it is hard not to feel like I have failed them.

(DV)

You haven't failed. This is where I'd suggest you take the focus off your H and place that on you.

This morning, my S6 also wrapped his thin, little body around my leg telling me he wanted to stay with me and not go with mommy. He saw me in my t-shirt and not my work shirt so thought I was staying home. I questioned for a split second if my W registered all of this and would have the capacity to think about what would happen in the future or if she even cared. Wasted energy.

It's near 6 months for me and I know how you feel about it feeling like eternity in some ways and others, just like yesterday.

I'm alone in the house tonight so I did a little ruminating and let some thoughts flow where I got teary eyed. Got that out of my system and I'm good for a while. It's okay to feel... I'm disappointed, hurt, a little afraid, angry, lonely, and at the same time, I know I will be okay, I know better. We have to keep moving and not wallow or have self pity. It doesn't serve us any good. I get that burning feeling too. I used to get unbearable headaches. I pop a lot of Tylenol through the days. When I do feel a swell of emotion, I sometimes let it flow through and I think about something good so I can smile through the pain.

From the exchange with your H on your S feelings, it's good to hear that your H said he would work with him this weekend.

You two have to take baby steps and make the necessary adjustments as you go in trying to figure this out. I'd always keep the line of communication clear with your H if you want or need him to do something for your kids. I don't think its a crazy expectation if you have a genuine concern and need the other parent to know so they too can help deal with it.


You'll make it through DV. Hugs to you and your kids.

Please do something great for yourself this weekend.