Pleasant text exchange with my H over some kid issues (snow storm here today and lots of cancellations of things) and then last text apologetically asking me about the SA and if I know what the timeline is with my L. Ugh...there is that awful burning sensation in my chest again and now my eyes are welling up with tears. When am I going to get past this??? It still hurts so much. I just have this awful picture in my head of my H reinventing himself with wife #3 and becoming the husband he could have been with me if he had felt more like a man and less like a rebellious teenager. Honestly, this really does feel like half of this is about him running away from home and finally getting to stand on his own two feet. I really believe that having kids and living with his mom was such a set up. It was fine when it was just him and I because we would go for days without seeing her but when we had our kids, she got super involved and I think over time it became too much for him to have "two wives". I think that is one of the reasons he did not even attempt to get me to move out. The option in the SA for him to buy me out was just there for show really. He knew I couldn't possibly take him up on it and I honestly think he didn't want me to. Ah well... hindsight is always 20/20, isn't it?
