Still in Limbo

[Living]

So going forward I’m taking lots of the advice here. I’m going to focus on myself and my S. I’m going to hustle hard and make as much money as I can. That way when we are on our own, we will be able to survive. It’s not going to be easy but I’ve been a single parent before. Of course I will get some child support and most likely alimony but I won’t be relying on that money. I need to be able to financially provide for myself.

I would really think about if it is smart for you to make as much money as you can right now. The less you make the more he will have to give you in child support and alimony.

I can tell your a proud person but you did not ask or deserve to have this happen to you. It my sitch my ex felt guilty and gave me a lot of concessions so I took advantage of it. I have not felt guilty one day about it.

Starting now it is what is best for you and your sons.

LH19,

Although I agree with you, I can’t afford to allow myself to adjust once the D is over. Of course I see you point and may change my mind. I just want to be as prepared as I can. Most of the extra money I make will go towards completing renovation projects for our house. I sock some of the rest of it away. Again, I’m going back to talk to the lawyer about what I should do. Last time I talked with her we didn’t get into a lot of specifics because it was just the initial free consultation. This time I’m actually paying for more time and strategic legal advice.

I’ve given so much to this M. When I met my H he had nothing. Well I shouldn’t say he had nothing because he had a job. I made a little more than he did on my job at the time. He had bad credit, had filed bankruptcy, had a beat up car, no savings, and a terrible spending habit. Him and his first wife were horribly irresponsible with finances. Now just in case anyone thinks this, I never threw any of that up in his face. I saw past all that and saw a man that treated me well. To me he was worth building a life together with. I even helped him by paying his legal fees when he was fighting his ex to see his kids. .

Everything I had when I met him, I owned. I had my own place, car, savings, and good credit. And mind you I was a single mother. I know how to work hard. Our first couple of years together I worked with him to improve his credit. We bought a house. He was able to buy a new car. Now he has superb credit.

I say all of this (not to gloat or seem like I’m all that) but to say I have worked too hard to walk away with nothing. I have invested too much in this marriage to walk away with anything less than I’m entitled to. And I’m trusting a lawyer will help me with that.

He now make way more than me. I can’t get into specifics of how because if I do and he ever stumbles upon this board, he will know who I am.

Thanks though LH19, I get it! Hugs!