W and I having a discussion on finances when she brought up the incident where I spent money on things that I felt necessary without discussing with her. She stated that my actions were basically a big F-you to her. I responded that they were not intended that way. She stated that it felt that way. I responded that she was welcome to her own feelings but I wished she would also consider my intent. I also pointed out that she had, in fact, hurt me without intent and that I was able to rationalize the difference. She said she never intended to do such a thing and I'm sure she thought that I must be referring to her past EA. I realized that that idea would escalate dissension so I immediately offer another example. I said, "I was hurt when you planned your vacations with our daughters, without me." This has happened twice in the last several years. Last time about a year ago. W just stopped and I could see the wheels turning. She didn't respond. I stopped talking.
I think this really resonated with her.
Later that evening after dinner we were in the car and she was telling some story about work. I grabbed her upper thigh. We are doing this Keto diet together. I said, "man' I can tell a big difference." I released. W never flinched. She said "really?". and went back to the story.
This is the longest touch-charge I have executed other than a hug or two many weeks ago.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
